Two Worlds Collide
by shvanka
Summary: JJ's past is not what her teammates though it was. Her past is filled with many dark secrets, secrets that she has tried so hard to keep to herself. But what happens when a tragedy brings her old life and new life together and secrets are discovered. ****Trigger Warning**** Mentions of self-harm
1. Chapter 1

The team was heading home after finishing their latest case in San Diego. JJ's phone started to ring, and a collective sound of groans was heard through the jet. Since JJ was in the bathroom, the phone continued to ring, the team though it to be best that way, if it was truly important they would call right back until someone picked up. 10 seconds after the phone had stop ringing it started up all over again, since Prentiss was closer to the phone she decided to pick it up. She grabbed the phone and just started at it, "Princess are you going to answer or what." asked Morgan

"Nope not happening" as she set the phone back down

"Prentiss" Hotch question

"Not work related, more like personal" she said as she smirked at Morgan, just as JJ walked out of the bathroom

"Hey JJ who is Scott?" Prentiss asked

"Who?"

"He called you twice already" just as the phone started to ring again "make that three times."

"Scott not now I'll call you later." JJ said as she sat down, she didn't want to talk to him in front of her curious co workers.

"Jen it's important." Scott said with an agitated voice

"Scott what happen"

"I I don't know how to say this."

"You are starting to worry Scott just say it."

"She is dead, my god she's dead." as Scott whimpered

JJ lost all color in her face, she stayed silent with the phone glued to her ear, as her coworkers intently watched her " Who is it?" when there was no answer she asked again with a knot in her throat "Scott who is dead?" Prentiss moved to sit next to her to provide her with the emotional support that she so much needed.

"It's Jules, sh she died a couple hours ago, I think they just found her" Scott choked with the words.

" How?" As tears trickled down her face, Jules was like her baby sister.

" She killed herself."

"Okay" was all JJ was able to say as she wrapped her mind around the fact that she had lost another sister to suicide.

" We are going to bury her in Mt. Horizon, you have to come"

" Yeah for sure" JJ said blankly " I have to go, see you soon" she tried her best to hide the crack in her voice.

"Blonde you okay" Morgan asked as he kneeled in front of her.

"Yeah" she said as the wiped the tears off of her face

"Bella is there anything that we can do for you." Rossi asked as he handed her a kleenex

"Can I be alone for sometime, I just need time to process this?" as she looked hopelessly around the group of people that had gathered around her.

"Yeah you don't have to ask JJ, we will be over there if you need anything." Hotch said as he point to the other end of the jet.

"Thanks guys"

"No problem Jay" Reid said as he leaned in to give his best friend a hug.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the flight home JJ sat alone, everyone in the team wanted to be with her to show their support, but they knew that she needed time alone. When they arrived back to the BAU JJ made a beeline to her office, closed the blinds and the door, signaling to the others that she still wished to be alone. After about an hour she heard muffled voices outside her door, she walked closer to hear what they were saying.

"Baby girl give her some time"

"But she has been locked in there for an hour, she needs to be hugged and comfort"

"I know that she does, but she well come to us when she is ready"

"But I want that time to be know, I just want to go in there and hug her" voice breaks. JJ decided that it was time to stop moping around all by herself, her friend was right she need the comfort of others.

"Hey Pen" JJ said as she slowly open the door, seconds later she stumbled back in as the force in which her friend hugged her, pushed her back.

"Oh my God JJ! Are you okay? Do need something? Anything just let me know" Garcia said as she hugged her friend tight, hopefully passing on some good vibes to make her feel better.

"Can't… breath" JJ managed to say

"Oh sorry JJ" as she was released from such a tight embrace.

"Hey JJ you doing better?" Morgan asked as he squeezed her shoulder

"Yeah so much better, it really help to spend some time on my own."

"Yeah I know how much it helps." He said remembering how he also needed time alone to grieve his father.

"Guys I'm tired I think i'm just going to head home and get some rest." JJ said as she walked to her desk to pick up her bag, and some files to work on later. "I also have to go ask Hotch for some days off"

"No doubt that he will give you time off Jay, I bet that you don't even have to ask." Garcia said as she walked out of her best friend's office. JJ continued walking down to her boss's office,standing outside his door she took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A muffled come in shortly followed.

"Hey Hotch just wanted to let you know that I'm heading home. I also wanted to ask… if I could have a couple of days off. I need to go to Washington and…"Hotch cut of her rambling by saying"JJ take as much time off as you need.

"Thanks Hotch. I promise that it won't be to many days" she said as she walked out of his office.

 **AN:/ I don't know where I'm going with this fic, so if you have any suggestions don't hesitate to leave your ideas or questions in the reviews or PM. Thanks:)**


	3. Chapter 3

*****Trigger Warning**** Mentions of self-harm**

The minute that JJ got home she tried to drown her sorrows with tequila. After half a bottle, she couldn't take the pain of losing her lil sister, she regretted never telling

Juliette that she liked and appreciated her and her friendship. Her emotions were becoming too much for her, the tequila wasn't working fast enough to take away all her

horrible horrible emotions. She had to do something to try to block all the those unwelcoming feelings. All of the sudden she remembered what Juliette and her sister

did to drown those emotions, she wondered if it actually helped. When thinking twice she went to her bathroom, she rummaged through her bathroom sink, until she

found what she was looking for. With a great struggle she was able to remove the blades from her razor. She took the blade and slide it across her wrist, she blood

oozed out very fast, she was fascinated with the color and how fast the blood ran out of her open wound, but she was mostly fascinated with the feeling of relief. But

she wasn't getting all the relief that she wanted, so she took the blade across her wrist six more times, watching as the blood pooled around the cuts, her forearm, and

the floor. She finally understood why Juliette and her sister cut themselves, and she no longer blamed them for doing so She cleaned up and bandaged her lightly

still bleeding wounds, then proceed to sleep.

 _ **AN:/ I don't know where I'm going with this fic, so if you have any suggestions don't hesitate to leave your ideas or questions in the reviews or PM. Thanks:)**_


	4. Chapter 4

"I think that we should go check up on JJ" Garcia texted in the group chat that she had created with her coworkers.

"Just give her some time baby girl, she'll come around and ask for our support if she needs it" Morgan replied, everyone knew that JJ was stubborn and refused help unless she desperately needed it.

"No she won't, and you all know that. I don't care what you guys think, am going to her places right this instant. After a couple of seconds she received replies from everyone, that they would at JJ's house to make she was okay.

—

"You're late" Hotch told Rossi, as he was the last one to arrive.

"We didn't agree on a specific time, plus I stopped at the store for this." He said as he pulled out a bottle of tequila and rum.

"Yeah that's the Ross Man." Prentiss said as she took the bottles from him. " She is totally going to need this." And so am I she thought to herself, she wasn't that great at emotionally supporting people, and to somewhat give a good advice she need to be tipsy, or so she thought.

"Okay what are we waiting for?'' Asked Reid as he began to walk up the pathway to JJ's front door, they all followed in suit. Reid knocked on the door and waited for her to open it, it took some time but she did so eventually.

—

JJ woke up to loud knocking on her front door, she just laid in bed hoping that that person would just go away. She had a pounding headache from all the drinking from the previous night, and the knocking wasn't helping. If she open the door and kick out that annoying person out, her headache would lessen. Before she went to see who was visiting her, she pulled on a light sweater, to cover up the mess from the previous night, God what had she done. When she finally reached her front door, she looked through the peephole and saw Reid's face, she lightly banged her head against the door, she didn't want to deal with the team right now.

"Morning guys." She said with a big bright smile, as she moved to the side to let them come in. Everyone gave her a hug and a friendly smile, even Hotch and that was quite rare to see. Garcia was the last one to hug her, and she got one of her many famous Garcia hugs, that she came to love.

"Aww kitten how are you? Do you need anything? Have you had breakfast?" Garcia asked in a rush, as he gently squeezed JJ forearms.

"Am good. No. and No." JJ said as she tried hard not to flinch from the pain radiating from such a gentle and friendly touch.


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you guys want coffee, tea, juice or something else?" JJ asked the team as they walked towards the kitchen. Coffee they all said, they were all truly addicted to it.

"So why this pleasant surprise?" JJ asked as she pulled out mugs. Her light loose sleeve,fell back with the motion of her reaching up. Everyone but JJ noticed the blood stained bandages. They all turn to look at Hotch to know what to do, but he was just as utterly confused as them.

"So JJ how are you holding up?"asked Hotch trying to get her, to say something that would let him question her about the bloody bandages.

"Umm… I guess just as expected. I'm dumbstruck about everything, it's hard to believe that she is dead."

"Well everyone deals with tragedy very differently." Morgan said, dying to ask JJ once and for all, what the hell she did to herself.

"Yeah I know. But I guess that can say that I already have experience with this type of death, so am dealing with just like everyone else would the death a q person that they knew." She said referring to the death of her sister, she hated to bring up her sister, and much more like this, but she hoped that if she did the team would stop asking her questions.

"Jay can I use your bathroom?" Asked Prentis she was so used to ask, even though they were all friends, and she knew that she didn't have to.

"Of course Em, you don't have to ask."

The team continued to make small conversation, when all of a sudden JJ got very pale. She suddenly remembered all the bloody mess in her bathroom.

"Jay honey are you okay?" Garcia asked when she noticed that her best friend looked pallor.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm okay, it's just… Nothing" she knew that Emily would question her as soon as she got back from the bathroom.

"You sure, you need to eat something, it could because you haven't had anything to eat since yesterday."

"Yeah it could be that, but not hungry"

"You sure Bella, cause I can make you something very delicious to eat, that you'll even lick your fingers" Rossi said, causing everyone to laugh.

Emily came back from the bathroom, she just looked around the room with a worried look on her face. She fidgeted with her fingernails, she wanted to bite them, to calm her down. JJ's problem was more serious than they thought, or at least that's what the mess in the bathroom told her. She made eye contact with JJ for a few seconds, that was until JJ looked down, Prentiss knew and she was going to tell everyone. JJ tried to walk away from the kitchen, she didn't wanted to face this, but she wasn't fast enough, Prentiss grabbed her by her forearm, causing her to wince.

"JJ we need to talk." Prentiss said as the let go of her forearm knowing that she caused her pain.

 ***** So how should the confrontation go? Is there anything that you guys would like for me to included? Please Review to let me know how I'm doing.*****


	6. Chapter 6

JJ was about to argue with her proposition, she didn't want to the whole talking thing now or ever. She was lucky that a loud knock on the door saved her, it was one excuse to prolong what was about to happen. They all just stared at one another, not talking, not moving, daring to see if someone would break the silence. They heard the front door opening and closing, footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

"Didn't you hear me knocking the door?" asked a bulky man, who was followed by two young children.

"I did, I was about to go open the door, Jose." JJ said as she walked towards him, to give him a hug and a kiss in the cheek.

"How are you holding up Jen?Will hey there Derek my man" Jose said as he saw Derek sitting in a chair.

"You know him?" JJ asked surprised

"Yeah he arrested me back when he was still a newbie cop."

"Of course he did."

"JJ how do you even know this guy?" Morgan asked as he looked Jose with a disgusted face.

"Jose is the brother of a friend of mine, well more like a brother" JJ said as he hugged the kids.

" Jen you're like my lil sister, we are family, we are brothers." side hugging JJ as he said so, to emphasize his point.

" Hi guys. You guys hungry?" asked JJ walking over to the fridge.

"No we already eat McDonalds uncle Jose took us" said Santiago. He was the older of the pair of children. He was 7 years old. He had the dimples of his father, and the eyes of his mother Juliette.

"Yeah and I got a happy meal" Sarah said jumping up and down. She was just 4 years old, and quite smart,she could speak more fluently than most of the kids her age. She was the exact copy of her mother, which sadden JJ a bit.

"Wow lucky you guys." JJ said as she took a seat.

"Aunty JJ why are we here. Mommy and Daddy sent us to spend our break with Nana and Papa." Santiago said as he walked towards his aunt.

JJ looked towards Jose, she thought that they had already told the children. She was hoping not to have to break the news to them.

"Sarah come over here honey." JJ said patting her lap, she picked up the young child and placed her on one of her legs, she placed Santiago on the other,despite his squirming. He was a big boy and didn't want to sit on people's laps anymore like a little boy. But the look on his aunt's face told him not to argue.

"You guys know that Mommy gets sick sometimes right?" JJ asked, trying to figure out the best way to break the news to them. The team wanted to help her explain the situation to the children, but they knew that it wasn't there place to do so, so they just sat there in silence ready to help if JJ desperately needed the help.

"Yeah she get very sad, and won't play with us." Sarah said with a sad voice. She hated when her Mommy got sick, because then she didn't have anyone to play dolls with. Santiago won't play dolls no matter how much she begged him.

"Yes she does. But you guys know that it's not your fault right?" trying to assure them that they weren't at fault for anything that happen.

"Yeah we do" Santiago said, wondering what this was all about, Mommy hadn't been sick in months

" And you know what happens when Mommy gets sick?" JJ asked, knowing full well that they kids knew, even though they shouldn't, they were too young to comprehend everything that was happening with their mom.

" Yeah she gets hurt, and bleeds a lot from her wrist" Sarah said point to her wrist, for emphasis.

"Yes that's true. Well your Mommy got very sick a couple of days ago." JJ said trying to hold it in for the sake of the kids.

"Did she bleed?" Santiago asked, he didn't fully understand what would happen to Mommy to make her bleed so much.

"Yes she did… She tried to call for help but it was too late." as she swallowed hard to tell the kids, even though she could tell that knew what she was going to say next, the tears on their cheeks seem to be running down faster."Your Mommy died" Sarah turned around and hugged her aunt tightly as she cried into her aunt's sweater, Santiago sat on her lap and cried, even though big boys didn't cry, or so he thought. He turned around to see tears falling down his uncle's cheek.


	7. Chapter 7

Sarah was bawling her eyes out, so much that she threw up on JJ. Santiago had stop crying, he had gone to the living room, and just sat there doing nothing. The second that Sarah threw up JJ tried to put her done to go clean up, but Sarah won't let go of her aunt. JJ faced up trying to put her down and carried the girl with her to her bedroom. It seem that only the team noticed when she winced as she placed Sarah on her forearm, part of her weight going into her injured wrist. Jose followed JJ to her room, just in case she needed help. When JJ walked into her room she softly whispered into Sarah's ear " Honey am going to put you down in my bed okay, just for a couple seconds, well I go to the bathroom and clean up." Sarah didn't fight her this time, and she was grateful for that. She grabbed a clean bra, shirt, and lightweight sweater, to change into. She walked into her bathroom and just stared at the bloody mess that was her bathroom, no wonder why Prentiss looked so worried. She quickly cleaned up her mess, before anyone else saw it, when she was content that she had cleaned just fine, she proceeded to clean herself up, and get dressed. When she walked out her bedroom she saw that little Sarah had cried herself to sleep, Jose was tucking her under the comforter. They both left the room cutely and made their way to the kitchen to clean up the rest of the mess. But when they got there they saw that it was already clean " Thanks guys but you didn't have too." JJ said to the team.

"It's no big deal JJ, I clean up Jack's throw up all the time, when he gets sick, plus you needed the help." Hotch said as he poured her a cup of tea, Reid said that it was supposed to calm her down, help her relax.

"Jen I have to go, got to work tomorrow. But if you need anything don't hesitate to call me,mom, or dad. Tell Auggie to call us to make sure he is okay" Jose said as he kissed her cheek, he waved goodbye to the team, and kiss Santiago on the forehead on his way out.

After he left the house was quiet, with a side of uncomfortable silence in the kitchen. Prentiss wanted to confront JJ but she knew that, she just had a long and sad day, she didn't want to make it any worse.

"Guys thanks for coming over and all, but I just want to rest, and get ready to leave with the kids tomorrow" JJ said nicely kicking them out, before they decided to bring up the previous unspoken topic.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to stay here alone with the kids, you guys are all emotional and sensitive right now." Morgan said, getting approval from everyone else, he couldn't bare the fact that JJ could hurt herself even more, if someone wasn't there to stop and support her.

"My chocolate God of thunder is right." Garcia said walking up to her friend

"Will be fine guys, no need to worry, plus like I told you I still need to pack to leave for tomorrow, and get some rest."

"Will you can do all that with at least one of us staying here the night." Reid said

"Fine." JJ said with a defeated look,she knew that they would urge with her till she agreed, she didn't have the energy to do so.

"Okay then it's settled, I think that either Garcia or Prentiss should stay." Rossi said, knowing that she would be more comfortable with someone from the same gender, and a close friend.

"I can stay." Both Prentiss and Garcia said at the same time. They both looked at each other trying to decide who it would be, through eye communication.

"Why don't you both stay." Hotch said, knowing that the women won't be able to decided on their own. After that was settle the guys said their goodbyes to the girls and left their own separate ways. The moment that they were gone, JJ picked up Santiago from the couch and took him to her room. She locked the door when she got in, she didn't want to talk to either Prentiss and Garcia. When they realized what she had done, they both knocked at her door quietly trying not to wake up the kids.

 ******* **Group Chat** *******

 **Tech Goddess:** _She locked herself in her room, with the kids. Not answering us :(_

 **Princess:** __ _What should we do?_

 **Hotch:** __ _How did you guys let this happen?_

 **Rossi:** _Hotch it's not there fault, she would of found a way sooner or later._

 **Chocolate God of thunder:** _Should I go over there right now, and kick the door down?_

 **Pretty boy:** _Just give her some time and alone space. She wouldn't do anything stupid with the kids in the same room as her._

 **Hotch:** _Reid is right._

 **Chocolate God of thunder:** _Should we go with here tomorrow?_

 **Tech Goddess:** __ _Yes! Totally she needs is right know. :)_

 **Rossi:** __ _I don't think she will like that._

 **Hotch:** _It won't be an option. We need to assure of her safety._

 **Pretty boy:** _What time should we meet?_

 **Prentiss:** _How about 6 am?_

 **Hotch:** _Sounds perfect. We will need at least two cars. I'll bring mine and Rossi you bring yours. I'll pick up Morgan and you pick up Reid._

 **Rossi:** _Copied_.

 **Chocolate God of thunder:** _Understood._

 **Pretty boy:** _Understood._

 ******* **3 hours later** *******

 **Tech Goddess:** __ _Update. She opened the door seems to be fine :) ^-^ [: :}. Is eating and getting ready for tomorrow._

 **Prentiss:** _Told her about all of us going with her, she didn't seem happy, but agreed._


	8. Chapter 8

JJ laid awake in bed, with two sleeping children next to her. She wasn't ready for what was about to come in the next hours or so. She couldn't deal with it all, she was quiet and reserved JJ, who didn't like to share her personal life with anyone. And know she was about to expose her horrible past life to her new family. A family who thought that she was pure innocent JJ. No she couldn't let that happen, if she did she would lose yet another family. Her team would never see her as who they thought she was, they would always judge her, she would most likely lose her job, who would want to work with such a filthy person like her. She couldn't let them go with, she had to stop that from happening, but then again they wouldn't let her go by herself, not after what she did, she thought as she pulled up her sleeve to reveal the bloody mess. A bloody mess that she actually kind of liked. She heard car doors shutting outside, then a light knocking at her front door. She heard feet shuffling, bags being dropped, and muffled conversations. After a few minutes the sound of footsteps could be heard approaching her door, then there was light knocking in her door.

" JJ honey it's time to get up." After not responding to Garcia's innocent and motherly voice, she heard and saw her doorknob trying to turn, but it won't since she had locked to door. After such attempt, she heard her walking away, seconds later she heard two sets of footsteps.

" JJ this is Hotch, you better open the door this instant, or I will get Morgan to knock this door down" in a very authoritative voice.

JJ slowly got up from bed and made her way to the door, she leaned against the doors for a few seconds. She really didn't want to open the door, but she didn't want her door broken and the kids scared to death.

"What is it Hotch?" She asked as she opened the door just a crack. "Can't you see that am still sleeping."

"Don't play games with me right now, come to the kitchen we need to talk." As he pushed the door open.

"Hotch am tired I need to sleep, I can't do this right now." Trying to push Hotch out her room.

"I don't care. You can do so later." As he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of her room. This wasn't the way he wanted things to happen, but she wasn't leaving him much of a choice."

"Hotch let me go, you are hurting me." As she tried to ground herself, but she wasn't as strong as Hotch and he was able to continue to pull her towards the kitchen, where her life would forever change. Hotch continued to pull her to the kitchen, and dropped her in the nearest empty chair. She looked around to room and everyone staring at her, in response she gave everyone a killer stare.

"JJ honey how are you?" Garcia asked as she wrapped her hands around her best friend. JJ didn't responded to her, or even returned the hug, she just blankly stared at her.

"Bella you know that we cared about you, and everyone on this team right?" Rossi waited for her response but she said nothing so he continued trying to coax her into talking "Emily saw something yesterday in your bathroom that really worried her and the rest of us."

JJ understood what he was trying to do, he was was talking to her like a victim, trying to make her comfortable, and make her feel safe. It wasn't going to work, it never did work before.

"Do you want to tell us what it was, or should we just ask you?" Rossi said trying to make her feel like she was in control of the whole situation.

"I don't know what you are talking about Dave." Sarcastically saying his name

Everyone except Garcia knew that JJ knew what Rossi was trying to do. Hotch didn't want to waste anytime, he wanted to get this over with before they had to leave especially before the kids woke up.

"How bad is it?" Reid asked as he fidgeted around, not wanting to ask such a question.

"I am completely lost, have no idea what you are talking about." JJ said, her old self creeping back up, gosh she hated it so much.

"Am done playing games with you." Hotch said as he walked up to JJ and pulled her arm away from her waist. After fighting her attempts to not let him grabbed her arm, he succeeded. He gently pushed her sleeve up, to reveal what they all knew she had done, but still hoped that she hadn't. Her wrist and forearm were a mess with bloody cuts, her skin was swollen around the worst cuts, it looked like they might even get infected. Upon the reveal of the cuts there were widespread gasp and "why JJ?", she heard Garcia start to cry.

"Blonde why did you do this, you could have called me to distract you and keep you from doing this." Morgan said as he kneeled beside her. JJ was like a little sister to him, he didn't want anything bad to happen to her, he would kill anyone who dared to hurt her.

"Have you clean them properly?" Rossi asked as he kissed her forehead, his Bella was hurting and he wasn't there to to help not hurt, he should've know better than to let her go home on her own after a loved one died much less killed themselves. JJ continued to ignore them, she wouldn't even make eye contact with anyone. Reid stepped away from from the kitchen and seconds later returned with a first aid kit. He kneeled in front of JJ and gently took her arm and laid it in her thighs, he took out some alcohol prep pads and gently proceeded to clean her wounds, she flinched at first when the alcohol touched her open wounds, but after that she just sat still and didn't even move. After disinfecting her wounds with alcohol, he some antibiotic and applied it to all the cuts, he added extra on the ones that looked the swollen and the worst. By the looks of it no cut would need to be stitched, lucky for her, cause if they did she would end up in suicide watch for at least 72 hours, and the FBI would find out about it. The last step was to wrapped her wrist in clean gauze, and secure the gauze into place so it wouldn't fall out. Lastly to make it feel better he kissed her wrist, a gently brotherly I care for you kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

JJ hadn't said much, since the whole kitchen event happened. She hadn't even acknowledged the kids, Garcia had taken care of waking them up, feeding them, and getting ready to leave. After seeing JJ in a catatonic state, they hadn't been bother to be looked after by some complete stranger. The kids and JJ rode in the same car as Hotch and Garcia, Prentiss, Reid, and Morgan rode with Rossi. They mostly drove, stopping only to stretch, eat, and go to the bathroom. Hotch and Garcia were both happy that the kids didn't really complain, about the long hours spent on the car. The team was really starting to get worried about JJ, she barely ate anything, during their stops, they were lucky if they got her to eat a small portion of anything. They had finally arrived at Mount Horizon, well more like the town before their designated stop.

"Mr. Hotch can we stop and eat at Rusty? It's my favorite place and I want to see my cousins Gracie and Lily." Santiago asked from directly behind him. Hotch turned around really quick and saw both the children with smiles on their faces as they saw from the distance Rusty, even JJ had a faint smile, something he hadn't seen on some days.

"Well of course." Hotch said, trying to do anything to let the kids smile, and forget for a bit why they were there. He pulled into the parking lot, and helped the kids out the car.

"Hotch why did we stop, we are almost there, just a couple more miles." Morgan asked as his group got out the car.

"Cause we want to see Gracie and Lily, and have a big chocolate milk shake. Sarah said as she pointed to herself and Santiago.

"And because of that." Garcia said pointing to a faint smiling JJ

"In that case baby mama we can stay for however we need.'' Reid said starting to walk up to the restaurant, he was hungry again.

Santiago and Sarah ran past Reid and into Rusty. " Auntie Annie! Auntie Annie! Where are you?" they screamed in unison, well running to the kitchen, she was sure to be there making delicious food. As they neared the door leading to the kitchen, a women walked out with extended hands, " Santi and Sarah, how are you guys? Gosh I missed you so much. Look at how big the both of you are." Annie said as she hugged and kissed each kid. " Who brought you here?"

"Auntie Jay, and her friends." Santiago said as he turned around and pointed to the group of people standing behind them.

"JJ honey come here." Annie said as she walked towards her with extended hands.

"Hey Annie." JJ said as she awkwardly gave her a hug, the old JJ was uncomfortable hugging people, so she rarely did so.

"Thank you for coming with her." Annie said as she shook everyone's hands well introducing herself. "Come and have a seat" as she guided them to a table, and handed them menus.

"JJ, Sarah, and Santi do you guys want your usual?"

JJ looked at the children who nodded their heads happily "Yeah the usual" well taking the menus from the kids.

"JJ why don't you help" Annie said as she began to walk back to the kitchen, JJ got up and followed her.

"How are you holding up sweetie?" Annie asked as soon as they reached the kitchen.

"Fine" was all JJ answered, Annie got the hint that she wasn't up for talking.

JJ walked back to the table with two milkshakes for the kids, and then proceeded to take her co-workers orders, and walked back to the kitchen to help Annie. Food and drinks had been served, and they were enjoying a nice lunch Annie, and JJ seemed to be more open, more like her old self. After a while Curtis showed up, for his lunch break.

"Uncle Curtis.'' the kids shouted when they saw him, and runned up to him. "Hey you little brats." As he picked each one up, and kissed them hello.

"Good afternoon folks." he said as he walked with the children back to the table that they had been sitting at. "Curtis honey do you want to eat something?" Annie asked as she began to get up.

"Not right now, you sit down and finish your food." as she gently pushed her back down to her seat,and kissed her forehead. " You to my room" Curtis said as he nodded at JJ

"Never thought that I would hear you say that Curtis. But in case that you forgot your wife is here, and most importantly am not interested." JJ said as she looked at him defiantly.

"Don't kid yourself,and let's go" as he walked towards her. They both disappeared behind a door, that they team assumed lead to the living quarters. Minutes later they came back, and JJ couldn't look any more mad. Curtis proceed to the kitchen to get something to eat, and JJ out the front doors. Half and hour JJ returned,and she smelled heavily of cigarettes, the team had no idea that she smoked.

"Curtis Annie thanks for the delicious food but I think it's team for us to keep moving." Hotch said as he shook their hands.

"Will see each later, for the funeral, come back whenever you want, or if you don't want to continue to eat famous Horizon food." Curtis said with a chuckle, most people seem to get bored of it very soon.

Next stop home sweet home, JJ thought to herself. She was begging to get anxious she wasn't ready for her two worlds to collide, and they would sure do so.

 **Next Chapter JJ is reunited with Sophie and Peter, and possibly some cliffhangers.**


	10. Chapter 10

The closer that the got to Mt. Horizon school, the more strong her chest pains became. When they finally arrived, JJ just sat in the car.

 **JJ POV**

Everyone got out the car, I couldn't follow them. I felt like I was glued to the seat, I tried to open the car door, but it seem to weigh two tons. The chest pains were becoming too much, I put my hand over my chest to provide some pressure, knowing that it helped, not much but it did. I felt the tears beginning to fall down my cheeks, and the gaps that I made with every painful shard. I need to calm down, but I couldn't it was impossible. The painful chest pains were beginning to scare, and the panic soon set it, just making it all so much worse. It seem that the pain had triple with the panic. I slowly moved my body, to a position where I would be able to lay down. I couldn't decided which one was worse sitting down or laying down. I slowly made my way into a sitting position, I leaned my head against the window. I could hear people talking not far from the car, I could clearly make the voices of mom and dad, not that I would ever call them like that to their faces.

"Pen where is JJ?" Prentiss asked as she looked around the group of people.

"She is still in the car." Garcia said as she turned around to look at the car, as if by doing so JJ would get out and join them. "I should go check up on her" as she began to walk away

"Let us. We have more experience dealing with an angry JJ.'' Peter said as he grabbed Sophie by the hand, and walked over to the SUV that the Perky woman was heading to. Peter slowly opened the door and was surprised with what he saw, JJ was leaning against the window, with her hand over her chest, gasping in pain. He quickly got in the car followed with Sophie, who closed the door to provide them with some privacy. "Oh my God JJ honey are you okay? Sophie said the minute she closed the door.

"Am fine. It's nothing, just a little chest pain nothing I can't stand.'' JJ said trying to downplay it

"I know that you will be okay JJ, it's just a very bad panic attack, some medicine will make it all go away." Peter said as he took her hand in his to provide her with some comfort. " Come on let's get out of here, and into the nurse's office." as both Peter and Sophie got out the car, and walked to the other side. Peter opened the door and slowly helped her get out, she stood by the car door trying to steady herself. After a couple of minutes she began to walk away on her on, Sophie and Peter quickly ran after her, each by both of her sides just in case something happened. She stumbled a bit but refused helped, as she made her way to the nurse's office.

 **THE TEAM**

"I like them." Garcia said when she saw the couple get into the car.

"We don't even know them." Reid said

"Yeah but the seem to be nice.'' Garcia

"Grandpa and Grandma are both very nice, they care about each of my aunts and uncles." Santiago said looking around the group of people that were slowly not becoming strangers anymore. If auntie JJ trusted them so should they. "We are going to the office to find our daddy." as he took his sister's hand and ran towards the main building. The team watched them run off, they were making sure that they got there okay, that they didn't fall and hurt themselves. When the turned back to where the SUV was, they say JJ stumble towards a smaller building followed by Peter on her right side and Sophie on her left.

"What the hell is going on?" Rossi asked as he saw his bella stumble inside the building. The made jogged their way to the building to find out what was wrong. When they got there JJ was laying down on a bed, and some machines were being hooked up to her.

"It's an EKG." Reid told the group. When the test was over he turned around to tell the the results " Her heart rate is very high, almost abnormal."

"What does that mean kid. She is too young to have a heart attack or stroke, she is fit." Morgan said as he passed his hand over his head, his usual movement when he was scared, nervous, distressed.

 **AN:/ Can anyone guess what is wrong with JJ**


	11. Chapter 11

"I'm sorry but I'll have to ask you to leave. Just wait for us in the main building." Peter said as he walked towards the door.

"You better be kidding. Cause am not going anywhere." Morgan said as he walked up to Peter

"Please just go, we need space. She is going to be fine. We will join you once she is better." Peter said as he looked Morgan directly in the eyes, he had played this game far too many times to know what the correct moves where.

"How do you know that." Asked Hotch as he came to stan next to Morgan

"She will be okay" Reid said as he looked down at JJ with sadness in his eyes.

"Reid how do you know that? Can you assure me that she will be okay?" Garcia asked as tears streamed down her face, a million scenarios where playing out in her mind, of what could be happening to her dear JJ.

"Because it's just a panic attack, some Ativan will make her better." As he looked around his team, to reassure them that nothing was seriously wrong with there friend.

"He's right. With some Ativan she will be all better. And we will all join you in the main building." Sophie said reassuring them and herself.

"Let's go." Said Hotch as he heard that his agent was going to be alright, they just needed to give her some space. They all walked in silence to the main building where they were instructed to wait, no one dared to say what they were all thinking, _what the hell was going on with JJ._ As they walked in a group of 4 people were sitting around the waiting are, they made their way towards them to also take a seat.

"Who are you guys?" asked a blonde hair guy, he seem to speak for the whole group, he seem to be their leader.

"We are friends with JJ, we came to be with her in this hard time." Hotch said as he caught sight of the children walking towards them with another adult.

"Where is she?" asked the women walking with the children.

"She is with Peter and Sophie." Replied Hotch not wanting to tell them, that she was in the nurse's office, in the middle of a panic attack.

"Oh okay, makes sense. I'm Kat by the way, it's nice to meet you guys." She said as she extended her hand to shake with Hotch and then the rest of the group of they all exchange pleasantries with one another. They made small talk for some time, then they felled into silence, no one knowing what to say to one another. Sure the team had lot's of questions that they wanted to ask, once they learned what Mt. Horizon was about. They wanted to know why JJ had attended this school, and so many other things, but those questions were meant to be asked to her not this group of old friends of hers. Both groups knew nothing about the other, like if JJ didn't wanted to mix this two whole lives of hers.

 **30 minutes later**

JJ, Sophie, and Peter walked through the front door of the building. JJ looked so much better know. They made their way towards the group of people waiting for them anxiously. JJ made a beeline towards her group of old classmates, she exchanged hugs and kisses with every single one. After say hello to everyone, she took a seat in the end of the couch and put her legs in the laps of her friends once they had also sat down.

"Get your stinky feet of off my lap." Scott said as he pushed her legs down.

"No can do Scott. Peter's orders I must rest." As she put them back up

"Yeah why is that? You need your beauty sleep? Cause let me tell you something it ain't working." Daisy said playing around with her best friend

"Wow I can really feel the love Daisy. I'll tell you later." Not wanting to discuss this with everyone.

"Okay listen up everyone." Peter said to get everyone's attention "Most of you know the drill, bags will be checked individually. Cliffhangers you will also get your routine check up." Peter said as he heard the Cliffhanger whine, they hated going through the process of checking in, even though they did it constantly.

"Why are our bags being checked?" Asked Rossi, as his co-workers nodded their heads, they didn't understand why.

"Due to the nature of this school, we check the bags of everyone that stays here, for anything that any student can use to hurt themselves or others, it's a security reason." Peter said. The BAU nodded their heads in understandment, they wanted to help keep everyone safe, especially JJ.

"You can check my bag but am not doing the physical." JJ said as she wrapped her arms around her.

"We are not doing this again, why does it always have to be a struggle with you Jen." Sophie said as she threw her hands up in the air, same old Shelby defying whatever she didn't like.

"I already had my physical." JJ said raising her voice. She would refuse it no matter what, she couldn't let them see what she did to herself. She didn't want to be placed in suicide watch by them, and having them bombard her with all this _therapy questions and bullshiit_.

"Yes you did." Said Peter putting an end to the bickering, even though it wasn't an actual physical, it was something. One by one they had their bags checked and items confiscated which were deemed as potentially dangerous, the cliffhangers had their physical and everyone seem to be doing fine.

"You guys can go to your cabins and unpack, rest, do whatever you need to do. Dinner will be at 7, so be at the dining room by then, and we will have group after." Peter said

Everyone got their bags and started to walk out the main building towards where the cabins were located. After they reached their destination, they broke off into guys and girls.


	12. Chapter 12

When you entered the cabin, you first encountered a common area, straight in front from the door, was the bathroom. Past the common area there were four beds again the left side of the wall and another four against the right wall. JJ made her way to the second bed on the left side of the wall, Daisy took the third bed next to JJ. Kat took the bed across from Daisy. There were only four beds left, and one of them had by the looks of it belonged to Juliette. "Umm JJ what beds should we take" Prentiss asked not wanting to take over Juliet's old bed.

"Anything but the one in the corner next to Kat." JJ said as she and the other girls looked over to Juliet's old bed. Kat walked over and fixed the blankets so that there weren't any creases " She hated it when her bed was not neat." with a small smile on her face

"Queenie the queen of perfection" JJ said as she laughed remembering when she nicknamed Juliet, Queenie.

 _JJ couldn't take it any longer the fact the Juliet wanted and expected everything to be perfect. From the way her bed was made, everything perfectly align, pillow on the center of the bed, and no creases in her blanket, to the way that she ate. JJ felt that Juliet always looked at her with a condescending look, because she roughly threw her blankets back on her bed, to make her bed, every morning as was the expectation. So one day JJ snuck back to the cabin, and jumped on Juliet's bed, messing up her perfect little bed,she open her drawers and messed up all of her neatly folded clothes. When Juliet saw all her things messed up she had a breakdown, she was screaming and crying in anger. It took Peter and Hannah some time to calm her down. JJ's punishment was to write a 3 page apology to Juliet,and fix her things and leave them the way that Juliet liked them. When she gave her the apology letter she told her "Here Queenie the queen of perfection Juliet." with her famous snarky tone._

JJ was brought back from her thoughts when a knock in their door. After a couple of seconds the door opened and Auggie and the kids walked in, "Sarah and Santiago want to stay here" as he dropped the kids bags in the ground.

"Santiago honey, you don't want to stay with your daddy?"Kat asked as she kneeled down in front of him.

"No I want to be with Sarah." taking his sister's hand "and she doesn't want to stay with a bunch of guys."

"Well that very sweet of you." Kat said as she picked up the kids bags, and proceeded to put their clothes away. " Where do you guys want to sleep."

"I want to stay with you auntie Kat." as he ran over to Kat's bed "You know how to hug like mommy used to."

"Yeah I do right. Do you know why?'' Santiago shook his head no " Because am also a mother and I know what hugs kids like." as she ruffled his head. "What about you Sarah?" Sarah just silently let go of her father's hand and took JJ's. "Okay then it's settled you get to bunk with your aunty JJ."

"Sarah honestly I don't know why you like JJ so much. She had like no human instincts, much less motherly instincts." Daisy said as she evaded a playful punch from JJ

"Mommy really liked her." Sarah said

"I by the looks of this" pointing down to Sarah holding her hand tightly "have more maternal instincts than you."

"Come on guys it's almost time for dinner." Auggie said he kissed each of his kids. " Go wash your hands."

"Yummy Mt. Horizon food. Can't wait to have some." Daisy said sarcastically, to put it one way Mt. Horizon wasn't that famous for their food.

Everyone filled out of the cabin, and meet up with the guys that were also leaving their cabin. Scott walked up to JJ and without a second thought took her hand into his, she didn't mind as they walked in silence not talking just enjoying each others company. Maybe this time around she and Scott could finally work out their differences and be together again. Once they had grabbed their food, they found a table where they could sit down and have their dinner.

"Scott you seem very familiar. But I can't put it as to where I know you from." Morgan said, he saw JJ turned to face Scott with a big grin in her face.

"I play for the Redskins, maybe that's where you have seen me."

"Aw man of course, how did I not figure that out sooner." Morgan said with a big smile " No wonder our little JJ is a big fan." giving her his million watt smile. They all continued making small talk with one another, after some time they were also joined by Peter and Sophie. Once they had finished their food they put their plates away, and walked to the main common area.

"Guys just wait for us there, and we will start group in ten. Just got to assign a group to wash dishes and clean up the mess hall." Peter said


	13. Chapter 13

The group was making there way towards the common area when Reid asked "What is group time?". The cliffhangers looked at one another and turn towards the BAU "You'll find out soon" JJ said with a look of despair on her face. Everyone absolutely hated group, but especially JJ, she hated anything that had to do with sharing her emotions. They sat in silence on the couch for a couple of minutes, until Peter and Sophie showed up.

"Okay guys who is ready to start?" asked Sophie as she showed of the famous you have the floor stick. She just got bunch of empty looks from everyone. "Okay then. Remember group is a safe place for everyone, where we respect everyone's feelings and thoughts. What is shared here stays here." As she looked around the group to emphasize her point." Tonight will be something simple, tell us your name and your current emotion" as she handed the stick to Kat. The group went around sharing, without any problems. While this went on the kids had fallen asleep on the nearby couch. JJ proceed towards Sarah, to pick her up, Auggie picked up Santiago, the group proceed to make there way to the cabins. Half and hour later, everyone was settled into bed.

JJ couldn't sleep, she keep tossing and turning in, as much as one could in a twin size bed with a sleeping toddler. To not wake anyone up she decided to slowing get up and leave the cabin, maybe some fresh air would help slow down her head, enough to sleep for a couple of hours. She saw her good old companion of in the distance, last time she felt like this he helped her sleep right away. She climbed onto the bear's arms, and made herself comfortable, he made her feel safe, within minutes she felt her eyes get heavy.

 **Girls Cabin**

Emily awoke to a gentle shake, she was tired and ignored it, but the shaking persisted. She open her eyes to see Garcia's worried faced "Pen what's wrong" as she sat up in bed.

"She is not in bed" as she pointed to JJ's bed. Prentiss just stared at her, thinking to herself maybe she was in the bathroom. "I checked the bathroom already and she is not there. What is she did something to herself." She hoped not but, she did it already nothing could stop her from doing it again.

Prentiss jumped up from bed, phone is hand ready to call Hotch, and tell him.

Kat woke up from all the commotion "What's going on?" She asked as she sat up in bed.

"JJ is not in the cabin" Garcia practically yelled. Kat looked at her not understanding why she was so scared that JJ wasn't in the cabin.

"Okay."

"What do you mean okay" Prentiss asked, maybe they knew something that they didn't know, should she worry the others before finding out, this piece of information.

"She likes to a) either go for a walk early in the morning, seat by the lake and watch the sunrise or b) you'll find her by the bear statue."

Prentiss and Garcia didn't waste anytime walking out the door, they headed towards the bear, since it was closer, if she wasn't there they would go to the pier, if not there either it was time to worry and tell the others. As they approached the bear they saw their friend snuggled in the bear's arms, sound asleep. They watched her sleep for a couple of seconds before waking her up.

"JJ honey come it's time to get up" Garcia said. After a couple more minutes of probing her, she finally climbed down the bears arms, and headed towards the cabin, not acknowledging her friends.


	14. Chapter 14

"It seems that you found her." Kat said as she walked out the bathroom

"I wasn't lost." JJ sneered as she pushed Kat to the side on her way to the bathroom.

"Good old JJ" Kat said reminiscing JJ's bipolar behavior "Why are you guys so worried about her."

"It's just that…" Garcia was caught off by Prentiss nudging her "just forget about it."

Kat started to wonder what JJ's friends had to hide, there must be something going on with her, should she be worried, should she worry the cliffhangers.

"What's going on with her?" Daisy asked as she came to Kat's side, JJ was her best friend, and is she needed support she wanted to know to be able to help her.

"We never said there was something wrong with her." Prentiss said trying to downplay the situation. " We were just worried because she wasn't in bed this morning, but she is fine"

"Okay. But that's totally normal" Daisy said as she looked between Garcia and Prentiss " at least it is to us"

JJ walked out of the bathroom, not acknowledging the four women gathered by the bathroom door, looking at her carefully, some more than others. She went straight to the children woke them up and got them ready for the day. She proceeded to gather her clothes and toiletries to shower, she carefully slipped a razor blade into her toiletries bag, she knew just the place to hide it so that Peter and Sophie wouldn't find it during their search. JJ made her way to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind her. Coming back to Mt. Horizon wasn't that bad for her, it did bring up unwanted memories, but it was something that she was able to handle. But this time it was so much different for her, the prospect of both her life's being this close to one another was terrifying, the fact that her time, people that loved and respected her, could easily find out about how unworthy and disgusting she was terrified her deeply. She was grateful that she was able to find a way to cope with it all, more like partily gratefully, this coping mechanism had already claim two people that she truly loved. She didn't want to hurt her cliffhanger's family with the knowledge that she had taken up this habit that they all despise so much. Her BAU family already knew, but she still didn't want to hurt them more, by continuing with this destructive act, but again it won't matter much when they found out about her teenage years. She took the blade against her skin, multiple time, cutting deeper with each, she was losing the fear of going to deep, she watched in awe as the blood trickled down her arms, and into her criss-crossed legs, finally making it's way to the floor. She took the blade against her "older" wounds, the pain she felt as she cut deeper almost made her cry out loud, it was a numbing pleasurable pain within a few seconds, one that she was learning to love but also hate. She tried cleaning up her bloody bloody mess but it was a impossible task due to the blood still running down her arms. She decided to clean after she bandaged up everything, she made her way to the tub and turn on the hot water faucet only. As she stepped in the burning water scalded her skin, making it all blotchy and red, but that wasn't the worst part, it was when the water touched her open wounds, she let out a small cry as she became accustomed to the pain. No matter how much she scrubbed herself down, she still didn't felt clean, she hated feeling dirty. After standing in the burning water for the longest, the water started to cool down and lost its purposed to it. The bleeding had stopped something during her shower, she gently patted it dry,and procceded to bangaed it up and tightly as she could. She left the bathroom spotless, not a single drop of blood could be found, as she made her way out of the bathroom.

 **AN: What do you guys think should happen next? Am still in the process of writing this FanFic out, so that is why it's taking some time between updates, so sorry for the long period of waiting . WRITER'S BLOCK :( IS ALL I CAN SAY**


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